Monday, November 15, 2010

Monster Jake: The Return...

Meet Jake...a 3 yr old Cavalier King Charles dog.
Apart from being cute with his round face and biiiig eyes, Jake is a naughty boy who "suffers" from "hypersexuality". I did not just make that word up; it really exists and comes to replace old words such as "Nymphomania" and "Satyriasis" for the females and males respectively.
So what was Jake's addictive ritual? He would repeatedly position his little "mattress" in a vertical position and hump it like crazy!Wait...before you think that this is weird; there's even weirder things about Jake... Hah!
So owner comes in 2 months ago for a castration; it's always a good thing to minimise Testosterone surges in such cases.
So I start preparing my Ketamine-Xylazine injection as usual to knock down Mr Jake and after I had injected half of the dose, instead of going down he was becoming more and more restless with loud vocalisations and all!
After a full dose, he finally goes down...only to start convulsing 10 seconds later! OMG!This is the last thing you'd want to have happen; small ball of cuteness foaming and pedalling an imaginary bicycle on your prep table...all that in front of the owner!
I decide to wait a little...give time for the drugs to act and all; but Jake never went into full anaesthetic plane...not deep enough for surgery at least."Hmmmm we've got a little Ketamine-reactor here" I said to myself and knowing that above 50% of all Cavaliers have an inherited heart condition (Mitral Valve Disease)I decided to stop it there with anaesthesia and sedatives.
Uuugh! Stressful moment and Jake goes home with his two precious testicles swinging happily between his hind legs.
Jake-1: Dr Sam-0...
Today,Jake was scheduled for a second attempt; got my Diazepam ready for any convulsions etc.First Diazepam injection-dog sticks out his tongue, starts shaking his head from side to side and emits one of the loudest and scariest whine I've ever heard! Gosh!This was getting embarrassing now..and if there were any owners in the waiting room outside, they must have run away with their pets by now! So Ketamine-Diazepam combo goes intravenous;Jake's legs give way and I triumphantly lay him on his side; but while I was busy clipping fur from his testicles...he lifted his head and stared at me with his enormous eyes!
F**k Dude!You're ruining my veterinary image now! Lol!
I gave the owner a desperate look and called it a day for any castration...again! No "pick-pocket" is gonna have these balls of yours Jake!You monster You!!
Final Result: Jake-2: Dr Sam-O!!
Ahh! Cavalier King Charles! You sure are special dogs!They are such cuties and at the same time sooo full of inherited health problems. This is the result of decades of inbreeding; historically ALL Cavalier King Charles in the world right now come from only....six original animals!Along with the "desired" morphological traits of CKCs came undesired pathologies such as Mitral Valve Disease, Retinal Dysplasia,Thrombocytopenia and the most infamous Syringomyelia -dog's skull too small for animal's brain and accumulation of fluid in the latter cause the animal to die in atrocious suffering.
But my little friend Jake has none of these; he has a mild heart murmur (probably associated with the mitral valve defect) but apart from that he is one strong and healthy libidinous "mattress-humper"!!!
I looked up for any explanation for his extremely high tolerance or resistance to sedatives/anaesthesia but could not find any...must have something to do with his blood-brain barrier...i.e. anaesthetics not crossing to the brain or being excreted too rapidly from this is gonna haunt and torment me till I find out!Jake is now on Oestrogen therapy to "cool" him down a bit.
Monster Jake! You won the right to keep those testicles..but Dude... get a bitch to put them to good use!
In any case, I'll bring you a new sexy mattress for X-Mas!

Fun Definition of the Day:
Nymphomaniac: a female as obsessed with sex as an average male...Loool!

No comments:

Post a Comment